I get asked a lot about the juggle. You know, three kids, divorced, two businesses, real estate investments, start-up investments, board service, coaching, family, kids in ALL THE SPORTS, strong friendships, adventurous travel, etc. The number of balls in the air just keeps growing every year! When I get that question, my first thought is always - I have grown through my perceived capacity so many times in the last 15 years. I’m so grateful to finally have the phrase from Atomic Habits author James Clear: “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” —Atomic Habits, chapter 1.
Whew. You fall to the level of your systems. Sit with that for a moment. I know for me, I have fallen to the level of my systems more times than I can count! You know, those mornings when you wake up in a panic because your sticky note mound on your desk has completely taken over all surfaces and you don’t know what to do next, or you forgot to calendar/write-down/enter something into the project management system and you are afraid you missed a deadline! I’ve shed a lot of tears in those moments, and that kind of stress bleeds through into all of my relationships. I’ve learned to spot the signs in those meltdown moments in advance (most days), and I take the message loud and clear - look at your systems.
One of my core systems is “The Five Things”. They are not magical. You can find them in thousands of places on the internet. But I’ve been asked a number of times about the five things, so I thought I’d put them here in case these five things can help someone else in their journey. These are the foundation, and when I don’t honor those five things, my relationships suffer - all of them. Family, friends, clients, employees, etc.
Bonus - these five things have been shown to lead to mood elevation, nervous system regulation (better stress response), weight loss, better overall health, lower risks of heart disease/cancer/etc., and many more health benefits. Who doesn’t want to feel better?
Now, real talk - I fall off this train occasionally. No one is perfect, and life gets crazy sometimes. Lately, I find so much gratitude in that because the self-awareness that comes from experiencing those uncomfortable feelings reminds me of why they are important every single day! And I get up the next day and do the five things. I almost immediately feel better and am more effective at juggling all the balls!